Mellow Daisy

Sunday, November 19, 2006

HA HA Im back

The funniest thing just happened to me....I was reading todays Daily reflections and the topic was convincing Mr. Hyde. The link is on the left if youre interested... Also while I was at my meeting to day the topic....FEELINGS...

Seems us AA's are going through a rough time mentally...Our feelings are geting to us and we dont like it one and thats that.

Today my friend james spoke up and said he has good days and bad days, ups and downs and he's feeling things that he just doesnt we feel that way too...YES JAMES..I DO I DO...and when he was done the hands went up...and kept going up and our meeting turned into one big ball of emotions tha tI think we all needed to get off our chests and I dont know about the rest of them but I sure did feel better.

The hardest thing we alcoholics do is deal with feelings...WHY? Because we never had to feel them or we were told we shouldnt feel this way or that way, or why do we feel that way so what did we do...STUFF them, grab a drink and we were happy again or so we thought....for me that brings me 20 years later at the age of 33 trying to figure out what the heck I am feeling at any given moment and why. I am getting much better with accepting how I feel and knowing that Im feeling that way for a reason, its just finding out what is connecting me to that feeling and what I can do about it.

I think it's easier for me to accept feelings today because I understand that life is connected to feelings and that you cannot possibly not feel for 20 yrs and then all of a sudden wake up one day and life will be merry. Somewhere along the line you have to learn what feelings are...RIGHT! ahhhhh it all makes sense...

So yep we are all a big ball of feelings and we must learn that theyre ok and that theyre essential to our daily living....the sooner we accept that, the better off we will be :)